What Planet Are You From?


this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim

too right.

Editing is more fun than I thought.
Even though I've done this sort of stuff before, I guess I kinda imagined coming into school for four days in the holidays to play around with full stops and commas would be...well, crap. But it's not! It's awesome! I love it!
I get tired. But I still like it.
I get cranky. But I still like it.
I can't see straight, and after a while I can't spell any more (Are there any 'i's in 'catastrophe'? I don't know!)
But nevertheless, I love it.

I am getting worried about my homework though. I planned to do it in the evenings, but my dad keeps making me watch movies with him. (I'm not kidding! I can't say no! It's really bad...and half the time the movies are awful anyway.) So I think from now on, I'm going to say, "Dad, until Pulp Fiction comes in, I can't watch any more movies with you. My homework's suffering." (Once we've got Pulp Fiction though... :D I love that movie. I think he's buying it.)

This is the last day of editing (I'm sitting around listening to people talking about burgulars - weird) and it's nice to think I've been a part of it. I'm always being told by my family - well, my mother really - that I should be more of a team player. (I am a team player. I just don't always want to play on her team!) It's good to think that I chose to do this, and I've done it well, despite setbacks and problems and disappointments. (There weren't that many of those, really.) I'm glad that I have done something that I can be proud of, that isn't school, or helping my friends. Those are the things I take for granted. This has been different. Totally voluntary. Totally giving. Totally fun, too.

listening to: coldplay, george, third eye blind. all excellent.

watching: Friends, people around me, the sky changing colours...and the rain.
reading: for work, The Bacchae notes. for pleasure, The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood (finding it hard to get into), Dragonlinks by Paul Collins which is awesome and totally unpredictable.

planning: the next seven days without the restrictions of my mother and siblings :D they left for Lindeman Island this morning. I'm thinking lots of movies, good food, chocolate, friends over and general funtimes. (Some of you know my mother the nazi. No, she's lovely, just...really tight. My dad is significantly less observant and more chill, at least about things other than schoolwork.)

ecstatic about: only having 12 days of school left, ever! And going to uni...awesome...yea...And the idea of three months of totally chill and semi-slothful holidays. At least in comparison. Makes doing the schoolwork now feel fun, just cause you know what's coming afterwards.

worried about: my politics SAC. The one I just did. It wasn't really...safe. Weird word to use, but it wasn't. I have no idea how I went, a feeling I'm not used to with Pol. Which makes me presume it was probably *not* good, as opposed to the alternative. But there's no point in worrying about it, cause I won't get it back for three weeks, so I might as well relax.

unimpressed with: the service at what was once my favourite cafe. Was served by extremely rude waitress this morning who sneered at me, then shortchanged me $10 and didn't believe me when I told her. She wasn't even apologetic, she just gave me my change and snapped 'Are you sure?' like I was a small insect who had insulted her. Honestly. People like that should be stuck out the back cooking the food if they can't serve it politely.

grateful for: sleeping in. the feeling of relaxation in my neck and shoulders that has been noticeably absent for months. the freedom to write. my dreams. the comfort of my bed (even if I'm having heaps of trouble sleeping at the moment...it's still a nice place to be.) optimism. (my favourite.)

i babysat last night

:)

because it was an early babysit, we had fun.
i didn't have to make them go to bed, or do anything crappy.
so...

we played 'The Sims' on the computer (and created my ideal family. little girls seem to love asking their babysitters about husbands/boyfriends - ??!)

then we danced around the living room until their parents came home! *hey hey we're the monkeeeeees!*

it was a fun evening.

and i'm going back tonight...:)

yay for that!

The thing about drawing auto-bio comics is you realise so much about yourself, in drawing and afterwards.

Lists are, I swear, the saving grace of my life.

When you're carrying a 100-ton weight, strangely enough, removing even a pebble makes a difference. (So does adding one.)

Chocolate is another saving grace!

I'm just trying to get through this week. Do it simply. One step at a time.

I have to sing on Thursday night.
Dance rehearsal Wednesday night.
Babysitting Tuesday and Wednesday nights.
Church on Friday night.
Party on Saturday night.
Church on Sunday.

And I'm exhausted...

Just one question.

Homework??!

So it's not really a change
Something I knew already
But the fear sits like a stone in my stomach
And the warm tears prick my eyes
If I could run
I'd run as far as I possibly could
To the edge of the world
And over
But I can't.
I just sit
I remain
Stagnant and shaking
Willing the rock to go away
That I might work, like I'm supposed to
Or better
That I might fly away
To sit in a theatre
And dream.

This morning when I was looking out of the window into the perfect blue sky and noticing that all of the cherry blossom trees look like nature's original fairy floss, pink and sweet and pretty, I realised that it is going to be an oh-so-beautiful spring.

I also realised that it has been a year since I joined this site - and I only noticed because of the cherry blossom trees. Remembering a year ago when I first wrote about them, how I was in so many ways the same - and I think that maybe there's finally some stability there. Not that change has stopped - I don't think that's even possible - but that I may have something more solid to stand on than I have through my teenage years. They're almost over...

That I realised when I was planning my 18th birthday last night (for the umpteenth time). Weird to try. Big or small...small...I'd rather take my five best friends out to dinner - which is interesting enough as none of them really know each other - than have something big with everyone I know. Especially as, if I had lots of people, some of the most important people wouldn't feel comfy coming. Nice choice though.

late night phonecalls and coffee conversations
don't happen enough any more
i almost cried in public when I read your words
poetic and truthful and cutting and real
i never knew how much I'd lost
gave up on you because you forced me to
savouring my memories, kept safe in bubble wrap
i dust them off from time to time and hope for the future
like I cling to the past like my last bite of chocolate
mine
and mine alone.

to love you
i'd have to turn into
something else entirely.
is it just because I'm not enough?
or are you simply so surreal
a fantastic ridiculous dream...
you are not for me.

so why can't I let you go

a beautiful beautiful song.

God of Wine, Third Eye Blind

Every fault that I repent
There’s another chip you haven’t spent
And you’re cashing them all in
Where do we begin

To get clean again
Can we get clean again

I walk home alone with you
And the mood you’re born into
Sometimes you led me in
And I take it on the chin

I can’t get clean again
I want to know
Can we get clean again

The God of Wine comes crashing through the headlights of a car
That took you farther than you though you’d ever want to go

We can’t get back again
You can’t get back again

She takes a drink and then she waits
The alcohol it permeates
And soon the cells give way
It cancels out the day

I can’t keep it all together
(It’s the world
Stuck underneath the moon)
I know…, I know…, I know…, I know…, I know…, I know…, I know…
I can’t keep it all together
(It’s the world
Stuck underneath the moon)

And the siren’s song that is your madness
Holds a truth I can’t erase
All alone on your face

Every glamorous sunrise
Throws the planets out of line
The star sign out of whack
A fraudulent zodiac

And the God of Wine is crouched down in my room
You let me down
I said it
And now I’m goin’ down
And you’re not ever around
And I said “no…”

I can’t keep it all together
(It’s the world
Stuck underneath the moon)
And I know…, I know…, I know…, I know…, I know…, I know…, I know…
I can’t keep it all together
(It’s the world
Stuck underneath the moon)

And there’s a memory of a window
Looking through I see you
Searching from something I could never give you
And there’s someone who understands you more than I do
A sadness I can’t erase
All alone on your face...

College.
In Melbourne.
Is where you live in residence at uni with a whole bunch of other people, and have fun and go to lots of parties. Apparently.
There is also some study involved, I hear.
:)
It's allll good.

In other news. I've given up on "love", this time around.
Before you all yell at me, it wasn't ever going to work.
Maybe next time I'll win... (a la Sally Bowles)

Today (unlike yesterday. and the day before.) I feel like it's ok to be by myself. Maybe it's just because nothing has gone terribly wrong yet. (It's only 20 past 8 after all.) Maybe it's because I just had my first sip of diet coke. (Yes Jarra, I owe you lunch!) Maybe it's because I have three spares today and not *that* much work to do. More than anything else I think it's just because, like always, I have this insane unfounded belief that something good is going to happen.

Maybe it will! :)

PS. Changelings...sounds like something out of Gremlins...or that really really cool mutant chick on X-Men who can change shape. That would be awesome...